


Conversations with People Who Can't Answer

by HanSoloOrgana (Partners4Life)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Happy May the Fourth, I mean I guess Bail and Breha could be considered Characters, I mean since the EU isn't canon anymore we don't know much about Han's backstory, Talking to loved ones who are no longer around, They don't actually talk, What If story, What if Han knew his mother and she raised him, au i guess, hanleia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 01:52:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10821273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Partners4Life/pseuds/HanSoloOrgana
Summary: Sometimes you just need to talk to your parents, but what happens if they aren't around anymore to get advice from? You still talk to them of course. Leia learns more about Han, and Han has an important talk with Bail and Breha.An AU where Han was raised by his mother, but it didn't change much about his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this is my first Star Wars story. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Leia was having trouble falling asleep. Strangely it wasn’t due to any nightmares or anxiety this time. She just simply couldn’t sleep, and decided to wander around the ship in hopes it would expend some of the extra energy she seemed to have. She quietly tiptoed past Chewie, not wanting to wake the sleeping wookiee. The three of them had been taking shifts to watch out for any potential hazards while traveling sunlight in space, and Chewie was on the next shift. 

The voyage to Bespin had become a slow crawl, but honestly she didn’t mind it so much anymore. If anything, she didn’t want it to end. She enjoyed being on the Millennium Falcon with Han and Chewie, and was terrified about the good times ending once they reached Bespin. Han was still determined to pay off his debt to Jabba, and that meant he would be leaving her behind. There was a very good chance she could never see him again. 

Her relationship with Han had only gotten better while on this trip, and she couldn’t help thanking whatever cosmic event it was that had caused them to be stuck in this situation. They had been sleeping together both in a literal and figurative sense for almost a month and a half now, and honestly Leia was glad they had. The fighting had become less frequent, and Han was an excellent lover. 

As Leia passed the cockpit, she heard a noise. She stopped just outside the door and focused. It was Han, and it sounded like he was talking to someone. Leia thought this was strange because neither she or Chewie were in the cockpit with him, and it was too dangerous to try and reach out to anyone while basically free floating floating in deep space with no hyperdrive to escape if necessary. Surely Han wouldn’t be stupid enough to get them caught just because he wanted to comm someone. Leia decided to to stick around and figure out what was going on without interrupting him..

“And she is just so wonderful and smart and honestly she’s absolutely gorgeous. I mean I’m just a low-life smuggler who doesn’t deserve her. She should be with a prince or some other royalty. I can never give her the life she was use to before the war, and she deserves to have the universe.” 

Leia realized he was talking about her and her jaw dropped. She leaned against the wall and slowly slid onto the floor. Once there she pulled her knees up towards her chest and just listened.

“She has had so much taken from her, and yet is somehow willing to give even more. I don’t know how she stays tough through it all. I mean I didn’t lose as much as her, and I turned to a life of crime. Yeah the circumstances were different… but still. I think the best thing to do would be get the Falcon fixed, then drop her off at the rendezvous and just leave. She will find someone else, someone who could love her better than I can. But in doing that, I’m pretty sure I would rip out my own heart. I don’t know what to do, ma.” 

He was talking to his mother? 

Leia didn’t know a lot about Han’s past, and what little she did know was from the digging the rebellion had done when he became one of their contractors. However she did know his mother had died some years ago. 

She was still mulling over everything she had heard and didn’t notice the cockpit door opening, and she wasn’t sure Han would have noticed her sitting there if he hadn’t almost tripped over her. 

“Leia? What in Force name are you doing sitting outside the cockpit? How long have you been sitting out here?” He asked. 

She looked up at him and realized he seemed almost nervous, and not angry as she expected.

“Long enough.” Was all Leia could say. 

Han sighed and looked back down at her. “I’m sure you have some questions.” he gathered. “I was on my way to get some caf. Why don’t you go make yourself comfortable in the cockpit and we can talk when I come back.”

Leia was shocked Han didn’t seem upset that she was eavesdropping on what she could only consider an very personal conversation. She walked into the cockpit, sat in Chewie’s seat, and waited for Han to return. When he came back in, she could see he brought a mug back for her as well. She gave him a smile once he handed it to her, and he sighed once more when he sat down.

“Before you ask me any questions, I just have one for you.” he began. 

Leia braced herself for some question that would lead to a fight. 

“Why were you sitting outside the cockpit, listening to me?” 

“I couldn’t sleep, so I just started wandering around. I heard you talking and I was curious at first, but the more you talked the more intrigued I became. I’m sorry for listening in on such a personal conversation, but I didn’t know it was one at first.” 

Han listened to her answer, took a moment to process it, just nodded.

“Honestly, I’m shocked you aren’t upset with me.” Leia stated.

“While I’m not all that thrilled you heard it, but if the roles had been reversed I would have probably done the same thing. So what exactly did you hear?” He asked.

“I thought you said you only had one question you were going to ask.” Leia joked, and she could see Han lifting his hand and starting to point his finger in his signature defensive move. Wanting to avoid a fight she leaned over, and put her hand over his. “I was kidding. I don’t want to fight with you Han, I want to talk.” She saw Han calm down, and then decided it was safe to continue. “I heard you talk about how wonderful you think I am, how you don’t think you are good enough for me, and how you think you should just leave plus a few other things.” Leia paused for a moment, debating whether she should bring up the last thing. “I also heard you say ma.” That’s when Han’s head snapped up.

Leia had never seen the look that was on his face at the current moment, but it seemed to be a mix of panic, shock, and a tinge of sadness.

Han hadn’t consciously realized he had said ma and it was going to bring up a lot of questions about his past. He was aware Leia knew a few things about his past that came up when he was vetted by the rebellion, but there were certain things he didn’t want her to know. For the simple fact it would only reenforce why he wasn’t good enough for her.

“What happened to her?” Leia asked, and Han visibly flinched and she could see his muscles tense. The sheer reaction he had caused Leia to recant her question. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” 

Part of Han wanted to avoid telling her about it, but she was a resourceful young woman, and if she was curious enough she would find a way to learn more about his life. He preferred she heard it from him and then came to a conclusion rather than have to make one that was wrong based off of what she found.

Han took one last look out the viewport in front of him and satisfied that there seemed to be no immediate danger, turned to face her.

“She died when I was 16.” He began. “I never knew my father. I’m not even sure if she knew who he was. Anyway, I didn’t have the fortunate life you had. I wasn’t part of any royalty, pretty much the opposite actually.” He looked up to see her reaction, and when her face gave no indication of anything other than she was listening intently, he continued. 

“She was a servant for one of the richer families in Corellia. When I was young, the family she worked for loved her and me. The actual employers were an elderly couple with grown children who were all older than my mother. They had an apartment for us, paid her well, and were always buying us gifts and just giving us things. They treated us like family.” Han smiled at the memory of the wonderful couple he saw almost like they were his grandparents. Suddenly the expression turned somber.

“When I was about 6, they died and their spoiled, entitled brats inherited the money obviously. The oldest moved in to the house, and she didn't want to spend extra money paying for all of the stuff her parents had for my mom and I. Unlike Alderaan there are no laws to protect servants. My mom did horrible, backbreaking work that should have taken 3 people to do. Since her parents had loved my mom and I so much it was stated they couldn’t fire my mom in the will, but some of the other help weren't so lucky, and the daughter got rid of most of them. She also decided she wasn’t going to pay for a place for us to live and cut my mom’s pay to almost nothing.” 

Leia had a hard time wrapping her head around that. Both of her parents had made sure Alderaan had laws in place to protect the people who served the wealthier ones. They knew society tended to look down on those who did the serving, but they were important to everyday life of the royal and wealthy. Bail and Breha thought all people should be able to live comfortably, because sometimes life had a way of throwing things at a person that was out of their control.

She reached for his hand and laced her fingers with his, rubbing the top of his thumb with hers, hoping that it was helping him. 

Han continued his story. “Since they treated her like bantha crap, we had a difficult time living. She was barely scrapping in enough money for the horrible shack we had to move into, and food was slowly becoming less and less.” 

He pulled his hand from hers because he felt like what he was going to say next was going to cause her to think less of him and he couldn’t handle her being the one to break the contact. 

“I ended up having to do some not so legal things to help out. I’m pretty sure she knew what I was doing, but she never said anything. So I would steal things, hide them for a while, and then once the heat had been off for a while, I would sell them to make money so we could eat. I knew my mother loved me, and she hated that I had to live like in those conditions.” 

Leia was stunned at how open and honest he was being with her. Her heart broke for young Han, and was aching for the Han sitting in front of her, telling this story. 

“She was one of the few people who actually gave a flying crap about me. We couldn’t afford for me to go to school, but my mom was so smart, and she taught me a lot. When she would come home from work, she would spend time with me, teaching me how to read, write, do math, and most things a kid learns in school. She also taught me languages she had learned throughout working with others and having to do business with various beings. Who knew all of it would come in handy?” Han scoffed bitterly, and then his face became somber once more. 

Leia watched him swallow the lump that was forming in his throat, and his eyes glaze over as though he were back on Corellia living this life.

“Anyway when I was 16, there had been a raid on the house she was working, and everyone inside was killed. The cops had been waiting at the door for me when I came back from hiding my latest grab, and I thought they were there to arrest me. So I bolted. Just when I thought I lost them, one found me hiding. He told me I wasn’t in trouble, and they had something they needed to talk to me about. They took me down to the office, and told me what had happened.” 

Han started to get choked up remembering everything about that day. Leia got up, walked over to him, and gently sat on his lap bringing his head toward her chest, running her fingers through his hair. “They- They needed me to identify her body. It was the worst thing I have ever had to do.” And the sobs began. 

The only other being he had ever told this story to was Chewbacca. Han hated telling it because he relived the pain all over again.

Leia sat there with him, trying to comfort him as best as she could. She couldn’t believe what he had been through. She empathized with him because her parents had also been murdered, and the pain she felt still got to her, but unlike Han, everyone knew what happened to Alderaan. He suffered all alone. Once his sobs died down, he wiped his eyes, sat back up and pulled her into his arms, just reveling in the comfort she brought him. She was laying her head on his chest when he started speaking again.

“It was after that when I decided to enlist in the Imperial Academy. I figured I had nothing to lose, and I could learn how to do the one thing my mom couldn’t teach me… how to fly. I had wanted to go into the academy since I was young, and my mom always supported my dreams, so I figured this is what she would want me to do. Which is when I saved Chewbacca from being a slave like my mom basically was, and the rest is history.” He concluded.

Leia knew about the major points of what he had done in his life once he had entered the Imperial Academy. She sat there completely transfixed by the story he had just told her, and spent a few moments trying to piece together a response. Finally she came up with one.

“Han, I had no idea what you went through, and all I can say is I think your mother would be proud of how you turned out.” When he scoffed at her, she looked into his eyes so he could see the sincerity. “No really I think she would. I mean the smuggling part she probably wouldn’t be thrilled about, but you saved Chewbacca, you helped blow up the Death Star, you are a hero to the rebellion, and you have such a kind heart. She raised an amazing son, and she would be proud.” 

There was some silence before Leia asked a question. “How often do you talk to her?” 

She was curious, because they had spent a lot of time together on the ship, and she had never heard him do it before.

“Not often really, usually when I have a lot on my mind, or something big happens in my life. You probably think it’s silly because she isn’t around to respond or even actually hear me, but it gives me this sense of… peace I guess you could call it.” 

Han was looking down at his hand, which had suddenly become quite interesting.

“Honestly Han I don’t think it’s silly because if we are being truthful here, I do the same thing with my parents. I talk to them just like you do with your mom. And this may be the weird part, but I get the feeling that somehow they can hear us. Never be ashamed about talking to your mom.” 

He glanced up at her, trying to decide what he was going to say next. He couldn’t think of any other revelations he wanted to disclose tonight, so he went with the next best thing he could think of.

“Thank you for not thinking I was absolutely mad, sweetheart. And it makes me feel not so alone that you do it too.” 

They sat together in the pilot’s seat for a while longer, and Leia was finally starting to fall asleep in Han’s arms.

“Hey Princess.” he nudged her gently. All he received in response was a muffled groan, which caused him to chuckle. “I think it’s time for you to get some sleep. It will be Chewie’s shift in a couple of hours, and I will come join you. Sound good sweetheart?” 

Leia nodded against his chest and slowly got up, kissing him before making her way towards the door. Just before exiting the cockpit, she turned back to Han. “I love you hotshot. Thank you for sharing with me.”

“I love you too Princess, sleep well, and thank you for listening to me.” 

She smiled at him, and he watched her sleepily shuffle her way to his quarters before the door of the cockpit slid closed once more. He looked out at the space and stars in from of him in the viewport and took it all in. He took a deep breath and said “I love you Ma.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is part two! I hope you enjoy!

The Battle of Endor had been a success for the rebellion, and it was one step closer in completely ridding the galaxy of the Empire. Leia had told Han that Luke was her brother and Vader was her father, and she was extremely grateful when he didn't run away screaming. The two of them sat on the bench from which they watched the Death Star explode for just a moment longer, taking everything that had happened recently in. Suddenly Han grabbed her by the hand and started leading her away from Ewok Village. Before they left, Han found Chewie and told him that he and the Princess were going for a walk, and if anyone came looking for them, to inform whoever that the two of them would be back for the celebration. 

Han lead her on a journey through the forest in search of a private spot where no one was likely stumble upon them. Once they reached a clearing about half a mile out, he decided it was a good spot to stop. He dropped her hand and lowered himself to the ground. He was sitting with his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankle in front of him, reclining back with his arms braced behind him to keep him up. He looked up at Leia and patted the ground next to him.

“Come on sweetheart, take a seat. Your feet are going to get tired if you keep standing there.”

Deciding that she might as well listen to him, Leia sat herself down in the grass next to Han, legs crossed and hands in her lap. They just sat there for a moment, letting the beauty of the planet that surrounded them finally register. 

“Remember on the way to Bespin when you heard me talking to my mom?” Han questioned, almost seemingly out of nowhere. 

Leia, not sure where he was going with this, just nodded her head urging him to continue.

“And do you remember when you told me you did the same thing with your parents?” He asked.

“Yeah?” Leia answered still unsure of what the point of this was.

“Well I think now would be a good time to talk to your parents. The ones who raised you. The one who cared for you and loved you. Still love you.” He sat up and looked at her, making sure she knew he was serious about what he was telling her. “Just because Vader helped bring you into this galaxy doesn’t make him your parent. It didn’t matter before you found out it was him, and it doesn’t matter now that you know. I really believe you would feel better if you talk to them. I can leave you alone if you would prefer.” Han moved to get up, but Leia stopped him before he could go anywhere. 

“Could you stay? Please?” she asked in a soft voice.

“Of course Princess. Anything you want.” He reassured her in almost as gentle of a tone. He had a feeling this was going to be difficult for her, and he was going to give her whatever she needed. He heard her take a deep breath and then she started.

“Hey momma, hey poppa.” She took a moment before she continued. “I’m here with Han. I know I’ve told you about him. Quite a bit actually.” Leia saw Han look at her out of the corner of her eye, and felt a blush rising in her cheeks “There are some big things going on. We defeated Palpatine and Darth Vader. One step closer in getting rid of the Empire. Um I, uh, I found out that Vader, or the guy he used to be I guess, is my biological father.” Han could hear her sniffle, and her voice start to shake. He moved to embrace, her but she put a hand up, stopping him.

After a moment, she continued on.

“I know you guys love me, and I want to thank you for being such amazing parents when you didn’t have to be. I’m sure you have your reasons for why you didn’t adopt Luke too, and I’m not mad. You are my parents in every way that counts. You were there for everything and you raised me to fight for what was right. I want to say thank you once again and I love you guys.” 

Once she finished it was as though Leia could feel their presence, as if they were giving her a firm hug, and she almost felt momentarily peaceful.

There were tears flowing down Leia’s face and Han wiped them away and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Ending the kiss he just sat there with his forehead pressed into hers and pulled her into his side with both arms. He just held her for a moment before releasing her and he began talking. 

“Uh, hello there Mr. and Mrs. Organa.” Leia was caught off guard and she snapped her head to the side looking at him. 

Han quickly realized that they were royalty and he had forgotten to use their official titles. “Oh kriff, I mean Queen and King?” He turned his head towards Leia, reassuring he got that right. The stunned look on Leia’s face would have made Han laugh if it had been any normal moment.

“Queen and Viceroy.” she corrected him after the shock wore off. 

“Right,” he mumbled. “Hello Queen and Viceroy Organa. It’s Han here. Apparently you’ve heard a lot about me.” He teased. Leia delivered a gentle yet effective elbow into his side.

“I want to thank you for raising Leia to become such a wonderful woman. She is strong, independent, loving, and so selfless, but I’m sure you know all that. We didn’t get along for a while when we first met, but now I can’t imagine my life without her. I don’t deserve her, or the stuff she has done for me, like saving me from situations that had nothing to do with her.” She leaned into him once again, and just listened as he talked.

“I don’t know if she has told you this, but my past isn’t squeaky clean. I was a smuggler for a lot of years. Actually in a roundabout way, that’s how I met her. I’ve done things I’m not so proud of, but she makes me want to be a better person. In all reality it’s because of her that I am a better person. I’m officially a general in the rebellion now. But there was an altercation because of my past that caused her pain, and I want to apologize for that.” Leia squeezed him tight knowing what he was talking about, and he leaned down and kissed the crown of her head. 

“To make a long story short, I had a bounty on my head, and I was frozen in carbonite. Leia was forced to watch it happen, and then had to come save my sorry ass. Things went a tad awry in the process and she wound up in a position she never should have been in. But Leia being Leia got herself out of it, and once again helped save not only me, but a few other people as well. I am so sorry for the pain I have caused her, and I want to apologize for anything else I might have done that she may have about that I’m not aware of.” He took a breath before continuing on. “There is something else kinda urgent that I want to talk to you about.” Han could feel Leia’s eyes on him, so he glanced down at her and saw the confusion on her face. 

The sun was beginning to set and he could hear the faint beginning of the party starting, so he knew he had to wrap this up before it got too dark, or someone came looking for them.

“The reason I am telling you this is because I want you guys to know who I am. I’m sure you would be asking me all sorts of questions about my intentions with her, and more questions about my past, because you want the best for your daughter. While I may not be the best, I think I size up alright. I want to spend the rest of my life with Leia, and I know it probably seems sexist to ask you guys for your permission to marry her.” 

Han felt Leia tense up in his arms, so he pulled her as close as he could into him and began running his hand up and down her upper arm. 

“After all she is her own person, and she can make her own decisions, but I think you should know the person who wants to make your daughter happy. I promise to try my hardest do just that. I want to love her, cherish her, be her biggest supporter, her number one fan, her best friend, everything. She is my everything, and I know I don’t deserve her, but I want to spend my life trying.” Han let go of Leia, and got on one knee. This wasn’t exactly how he had ever planned proposing to Leia, not that he had planned it, but the moment seemed perfect, and he didn’t want to wait.

“I don’t have a ring for you at the moment, all I have, right this moment, is my love for you. So what do you say princess? Will you make me the luckiest scoundrel in the world and be my wife?” 

She was completely shocked that he was doing this here and now. When she realized she still hadn’t given him and answer, she pushed herself onto her knees, and kissed him with all her being.

“Yes, I will be your wife.” He laughed an amazed and joyous laugh and drew her into a tight hug. He released her from the hug and leaned down to kiss her just as the first firework of the celebration boomed into the night sky. 

They got up and started their trek back to the rest of the group. Leia started walking away, but before Han followed behind her he looked up at the dark sky and said “She said yes mom. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! If you enjoyed this, Kudos and reviews are very much appreciated! Thank you for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions don't be afraid to ask! If you liked it, you can leave kudos and/or a review! I don't bite I promise!


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